Saturday Short: Berries on the Wall

photograph of berries and dried leaves clinging to a cement wall“You must be like the berries in the winter,” her mentor said as she gestured toward the wall they were walking past. The berries stood out with their red stems against the worn wall. The leaves had fallen a month ago.

“Poisonous?” That didn’t seem like a very good thing to be nor a lesson that she should be learning. She must have misread her assigned text again last night. In fairness, she had been very tired from her chores.

“No.” The exasperation was clear in her mentor’s voice and in the rubbing of her temples with the pads of her fingers. “Not poisonous. Hardy. You must be able to thrive even when it seems like there is no hope. You must push yourself and never give up. Like these berries. You must be the hope of life when there only seems to be death.”

“Oh.” Jasmin looked at the berries again. This time they seemed brighter than they had before. “I’m not sure I can do all of that. It sounds…”

“Yes?” Her mentor’s voice was soft, but it demanded an answer.

“It sounds like more than I can do.” She looked up at her mentor quickly, before looking back down at her feet as they continued to walk, their boots crunching on the last leaves of autumn. “But I’ll try not to let you down.”

“I know. And you can do it, or I would not have chosen you.”

At this Jasmin smiled and though she could not see it because she was still looking at her feet, her mentor did, too, before she looked back up towards the sun struggling to break through the clouds.

Saturday Short: Fallen Maple Leaves

photograph of fallen maple leaves on the sidewalk

“Leaves fall every year. It’s what they do. It’s why it’s called fall,” her sister said with an exasperated tone, the one she saved for Heather when their mother was out of earshot.

Heather shrugged. It was the safest reply. She wasn’t stupid. She knew why it was called fall. Though, is she were asked, Heather would have told her sister that she preferred to call the season autumn. It sounded prettier.

Luckily though her sister became distracted by a group of kids on the other side of the street from her school and forgot what she was about to say as she walked away. Heather was an afterthought, which was fine by her. That’s how she felt in her family most of the time anyway. She turned her attention back to the fallen leaves on the sidewalk, slicked down by the night’s rain.

She couldn’t read what they were saying, yet, but she would. Heather knew it in her heart. The leaves almost seemed to form letters that swirled in front of her eyes, but then she blinked and they were gone. It was frustrating and Ms. Willow was gone this weekend, stocking up in the mountains was how she put it when Heather asked. The other kids called her Old Witch Willow, but Heather thought that was mean because people made fun of witches, which they shouldn’t do.

“Come on, Heather, we’re going to be late!” Her sister was doing that annoyingly dramatic tapping of her wrist to make her point as the other kids laughed and waved goodbye. Her sister didn’t even wear a watch.

“Coming!” Heather glanced at the leaves one last time before standing up and running to catch up with her sister who had already turned her back to walk home.

She didn’t see the leaves swirl behind her and rearrange themselves on the ground. But they could wait. She would be back.

Saturday Short: Photographs for Sale

There was an old box of photographs for sale, shoved between a rusting lamp (it was not worth the $10 price tag tied around its base) and a pale violet vase (which was worth much more than its $5 price scrawled on a bright orange sticker), on the table of a vendor at the weekly, Saturday jumble sale that Suzanna had not seen before. The photographs caught her eye. Or, perhaps more precisely, the lurid green box they were stuffed in caught her eye. It was the kind of green she hadn’t seen since she bought that cheap, neon green chair for a few bucks to furnish her overpriced, but cheapest she could find, apartment in grad school. A fleeting smile played across her face. By the time she was done with her degree, the chair was held together with packing tape and prayers. It had been surprisingly comfortable though, or perhaps she had simply been younger. Probably a bit of both.

She knew she had been standing too long looking at the box, lost in her memories, when the vendor’s voice caused her to jump.

“A buck a piece or 6 for 5,” he said. His voice sounded as old as the photos looked. Scratchy like a misused record.

“A bit steep,” Suzanna replied as she touched the edge of the first photograph in the box. The corner was broken off and the boy in the photo looked like he was leering at the photographer. It sent a shiver down her neck.

The vendor did not argue with her assessment and did not try to hurry her along. There was no one else trying to look through his wares.

Suzanna continued to flip through the photographs, as if it were a compulsion. None of them were particularly well-composed. Some were blurred to the point she wasn’t sure what or who the subject was. And yet, she felt as if she had to look at each one, as if there was a secret for her, hidden in one of them. She just had to figure out which.

“I haven’t seen you here before.”

“No, I suppose you haven’t,” he said, but did not comment further. It was odd, usually the vendors talked so fast and so long that she could barely get in a counter-offer for bargaining.

When her index finger touched the third to the last photo in the box, it felt like a shock of static electricity bolted into her hand. She pulled the photo out of the box and handed the man a dollar without a word. He didn’t say thank you or goodbye as she walked away in a haze, people having to sidestep her as Suzanna seemed unaware of anything but the photo she held.

“You’ve got to get rid of that box,” said a voice behind the vendor.

He did not turn around. “Why?”

“It’s not right to make them see their futures. It’s not our job.”

The man chuckled. “I don’t give them their future. I only show them their past.”

“That’s not how she’ll see it. You know that.”

“That is not my problem.” He held up the dollar before disappearing it into a fold in his sleeve. “I believe I am now winning our bet.”

There was a snort in reply. “Not for long. Tomorrow it’s my turn.”

Saturday Short: Whispers in the Night

photograph of a full moon

When the moon is full and reflects the last of the sun’s light,
And the cattle lay down to sleep in fields,
Both dry and green,
Then close your eyes and cover your ears
Little one
Don’t listen to the whispers in the night.

When the moon shines down and the stars are too bright,
And you can feel the earth hum,
Beneath your feet,
Then lock your door and hide the key
Little one
Don’t listen to the whispers in the night.

For they whisper soft and they whisper sweet,
But that’s the last you’ll know
If you don’t keep your feet.

Don’t listen to the whispers in the night…

Saturday Short: The Crow in the Tree

photograph of a crow sitting on a branch

“The bird in the tree does not mock you,” she says with the quiet assurance that came with age and study. Her smile creases the corner of her eyes into crow’s feet. You have never understood why wrinkles were called that. They looked no more like crow’s feet than the lines on the palms of your hands.

“You move too slowly for them to notice you.”

You bristle at that. You have always been the fastest in class. You’ve won ribbons out of the hands of competitors who underestimated you. If anyone is too slow, it is this old woman. “I’ve been coming to your lessons for four months now and still you haven’t taught me a thing that’s useful.”

She leans her head to the side. It reminds you of the crow in the tree that flew off a moment ago, after laughing its harsh call. You’re not amused, though she seems to be. “Perhaps you simply have not been learning.”

You cross your arms and have the urge to stick out your tongue at her, even though you are far too old for such childish things. “I came to learn earth magic and all you’ve talked about for months is the weather and the birds that have come to your garden and made me read books about identifying shorebirds that all look the same. They’re just little brown birds, who can tell the difference? Who cares? And now you think that standing here looking like scarecrows is somehow teaching? It’s ridiculous.”

She takes your rant that has been building in your chest like a festering boil for the last month and spilled out of you as if you were not in charge of your tongue without interrupting. She doesn’t cross her arms or look away. It is unnerving to be watched with some emotion you can’t put your finger on. It makes you angry though you couldn’t say why if asked. She doesn’t ask you.

“Everyone learns at their own pace. I had one student who took a year to be able to name the sparrows in the field and another who took two to identify all the trees on the farm.”

“That doesn’t matter!”

“Perhaps not to you, not yet. But it will.” She stretches her arms above her head, carefully so as to not hit you with her cane. “I think it is time for a nap. I will see you back at the house when you are finished.”

“How will I know when I’m done?” You want to scream, but don’t. You will keep some dignity even though there is no one around but you, your teacher, and the crow that is still sitting on a branch over your head.

“When you can recall what a flock of crows calls itself.” And she turns and begins walking back to the house without waiting for your reply.

You want to stamp your feet and yell, but she would hear and you won’t give her the satisfaction. Though you’re not sure if she would feel anything one way or the other. You look up at the crow and scowl. “I don’t suppose you know what she’s on about?”

The crow cocks its head to the side, in mimicry of your teacher. “Of course,” the crow says as you fall back, almost hitting your head on the side of the stone fence. “But you wouldn’t understand, not yet. I’m still not sure why she wastes her time on you. ”

Your voice is still not working as you watch the crow take to the air and join a flock, winging its way toward the farmhouse. But the word comes to your mind and you are relieved the crows did not want to act it out.

A flock of crows is a murder.

You reflect on that as you slowly rise and walk back to the farmhouse, not sure now at all where the world ends and the magic begins.

A Very Belated Post on 2020 NaNoWriMo

Hello, dear readers. How are you? No, really, how are you? My mother feels that this question is only a social pleasantry and that to say more than “fine” is really TMI. I feel like the question is an invitation to get to know someone more deeply, to take a moment to pause and be human with them, to care, to empathize.

And I mean it when I say I hope you are doing well. And if you are not, that you have someone to talk to that will hear you and listen deeply and sit with you. And if not, that you find someone to do that.

How am I? I’m exhausted and happy and sad and angry and all of these things all at once. I wish we had a word for it. I haven’t found one yet that feels right to me. But mostly I’m feeling a bit embarrassed that this post about NaNoWriMo is so late after November ended. However, I wanted to do a bit of a reflection on this year’s NaNo so here it is. I’m going with the “better late than never” philosophy for today’s post.

Did you do NaNo this year? If you did, yay! If you didn’t, I understand. This year was hard and I thought about just opting out, but in the end I’m glad I signed up for it.

Did I win?

Well, I didn’t hit 50,000 words. I almost wrote 27,000, which was a win for me. And I wrote every day, which was another win.

I think everyone who wrote anything during NaNo is a winner. Sitting down and writing is a win, any day.

But what was really great for me for NaNo was hosting a couple of virtual write-ins. I was really nervous about doing that, but they ended up being so much fun. We had a small group, but it was the first time I’d seen some people in almost a year. It was great to write in community and to support each other.

It was also one of the few times during this school year that Zoom felt like a gift rather than completely energy draining. It was so lovely and made me even more excited for next year’s write-ins that will hopefully (fingers crossed) be in person.

So NaNo for me this year was a great way to reconnect with some writer buddies, get a good start on a new novel draft, and remember that it is okay (even good) to prioritize making some time every day for my projects and passions (even when the work and home to-do lists are never-ending).

I hope that you are finding ways to take time for your writing, your creative activities, your passions, too during this year of really unprecedented times. I have the privilege to do so, even when I feel overwhelmed, and I hope you have space to do so, too. If not, I hope the next year brings the space and ability to do so into your life.

And I hope the end of the year inspires you to take some time to plan what you want the next year to be and how you will get there.

For those of us who have the ability, consider supporting NaNoWriMo as they help support us with Come Write In Program and the Young Writers Program. Everyone has a story to tell and this is one way to help others tell their story.

Thank you, as always, for reading and listening. I hope you find joy in your writing and the work you are doing. Until we meet again, friends, take care and keep writing.

Hi, yes, I’m still here

Happy Saturday, dear readers (if any of you are still out there). I know it’s been quite some time since I’ve posted anything on this blog. I keep thinking about it and meaning to, but life has gotten in the way. This year has gotten in the way. I’m sure you can understand that as we’re all living through the same year, even if we are experiencing it in different ways.

But, yes, I’m still here. And, yes, I’ve still been writing.

I just wanted to check in with this blog and with you before the end of the year. And I wanted to say that one of my goals in the new year is to post here more regularly (and for me that means once a week). I need to get back in the habit of writing very short stories while working on my longer writing. It is good and it keeps the ideas flowing. Even though sometimes it is hard to find time for both.

I also wanted to say that I need to write more here about what I’m thinking about and reading about and doing in life. Because life influences our work and our writing and our creativity. So you might see more posts about the process than before. You might see more posts about how my activist work impacts my writing and thinking than before. You might get posts about what I’m reading than before. Or not…we all have to see what this next year brings. But I wanted to let you know there will be changes. And if you keep reading, that’s wonderful. And if you don’t, that’s fine, too.

We’re all just stumbling through this year, this life together. And some of us our writing our way through it, too.

I hope that you are able to find moments of relaxation, reflection, and rejuvenation as we come to the end of the year. I hope that you are able to find moments of joy. I hope you are able to fill yourself up so you can create and share your creations with the world.

I hope.

I continue to write, and take deep breathes, and figure out this whole writing and living thing and I know you are, too.

I hope you have a wonderful day and find wonder in the small things that can bring us joy. Like twinkle lights and hot cups of tea and an unexpected card in the mail or text from a friend. Let’s continue this journey together. Thank you, as always, for reading, for listening, for creating, for being.

Camp NaNoWriMo Reflection

Hello, dear readers! I hope you and your loved ones are staying safe and healthy. What a few months and what a year it’s been! I know this is a bit late as Camp NaNoWriMo finished at the end of April, but I wanted to share a few reflections.

I don’t presume to know about you, but it’s been hard to find time to write since all the shelter-in-place orders have been in place. Working at home with a toddler is hard and finding energy, either in the morning before everyone is up or at night after it’s quiet, is hard, too. So I found Camp NaNoWriMo more useful than ever this year.

Not because of the (almost non-existent) cabins or because of the emails during the month or any of that, but because it was a promise to myself that I would make my writing a priority for the month. That I would do something that I wanted to do, that others might find frivolous, that made me happy in the middle of the pandemic.

I gave myself permission to create and to enjoy the process. And, during the month, I wrote every day and got down 13,000 more words in the draft I’m writing. It was a great success and it has given me motivation to keep writing this month, even if sleep schedules, teething, and the chaotic end of the semester have meant that it has been a bit more slow going than last month.

Did you do Camp NaNoWriMo this year? Do you plan to in July? I hope you did and you do. Give yourself permission to continue creating. Creating is such a joyful act, even during these times.

And, since I know sometimes reading other’s reflections can be a bit boring, I thought I’d leave you with a bit of a short story I just started working on. We’ll see if it becomes a serial like Close Enough. I’m not sure yet, but it was fun to hear some new characters in my head. Enjoy and take care!

“We have no idea which moment in our lives will be the defining one on this earth and yet we let them slip through our hands like chaff. We convince ourselves that we will know that moment when it comes, but how can we when we spend so little time in the moment?”

“You speak nonsense, woman.”

“Says the man who cannot remember what he ate for breakfast.”

“I…”

She laughed, unkind ones might have said cackled. ‘At least I know what I ate for breakfast.”

He tossed in a handful of coins into her upturned hat, more out of habit than conscious reason. “No one cares what I ate for breakfast.”

“Perhaps they do. Perhaps they don’t. But you should.”

“Utter rubbish. You should concern yourself with more important things.”

The train’s whistle sounded and he did not hear the woman’s reply as he hurried across the platform.

That was the not the last moment in his life where fate spoke and he failed to listen.

 

 

Writing in the Time of COVID-19 and Camp NaNoWriMo

Hello, dear readers. I hope you, your family, and your friends are staying safe and healthy. It is a strange, unsettling time for the entire world. It seems odd to even be writing about writing during this time. Or honestly doing anything at this time, but I find it good to have something to do other than reading the news obsessively and trying to get work done at home with a toddler under foot (who thinks that every video conference call should include her). And writing provides an escape, a way to process, and a tether to a more normal time.

And it happens to be Camp NaNoWriMo this month. What a fortuitous event to have in April. Not as stressful as NaNoWriMo in November as we can pick our own goals and yet, it provides some structure for our writing. An anchor for whirling minds and worried hearts. A goalpost under our control and a small foothold in certainty.

I’m doing Camp NaNoWriMo this month and I hope you are (or will consider it), too. I’m using it as a commitment to making more progress on the draft of my novel. It gives me the “excuse” to prioritize taking some of my time for writing rather than the dozen of other things that need to be done for work and for home. And it provides another avenue for community in this time when we are all distant physically.

Because of this, I won’t be posting short stories this month as my writing time is limited (as I’m sure yours is, too) and I’ll be focusing on my Camp NaNoWriMo project. But I’ll be back with more stories after April and hope you continue to find them good reads.

I wish us all health and safety and kindness as we continue to life through this pandemic together (even as we are physically apart). And I wish us good writing, no matter what form, and inspiration found even in the darkest times. Keep writing, keep creating, and keep living. Help those you can with your actions and with your words. Be safe.

Saturday Short: Close Enough, Part XVIII

We fell onto our faces in the middle of a country road with the scream of the Inversion cut off by the portal snapping shut behind us. I turned my head to see only blue sky above and no darkness on the horizon.

I pushed up to sitting, thankful that I had not landed on my sword and folded it. I wiped my hands against the shredded cloth of my apron and felt a lump in my pocket.  I pulled out a teaspoon and laughed. Its back was dented where it had taken a blow from one of the goblins that tried, and failed, to sever my leg at the hip. The universe truly did have a sense of humor.

Then I turned to Sami who groaned, then went as still as a cornered mouse when her eyes met mine.

“That was lesson three,” I said saving her the trouble.

“I…I don’t understand.”

“Lesson three,” I said, standing and reaching out my hand for hers. “Blood is not thicker than the Sisterhood.”

She blinked her eyes and looked away. “Am I still in the Sisterhood?”

“No.”

Her shoulders sagged.

“You are still my apprentice and it is time for lesson four.”

She looked up at me, “Really?”

“Yes. Now come, we have work to do.”

And she took my hand and looked around, a new line of worry creasing her forehead. “Um, we’re not near the farm, are we?”

“Close enough. It is over there.” I pointed to a speck far across the valley, almost a half-day’s walk.

Sami sighed. “Of course.” Then she surprised me by not complaining further and beginning the walk home.

“Silas is probably already there, isn’t he?”

I made a noncommittal noise. I didn’t want to make her feel worse, but it was almost certain that Silas was already in the house, curled up in a sunspot, waiting to chide me for being late in getting him cream.

“Of course, that damn cat.” She said it without malice and I had to hide a smile. “Is there really another lesson?”

I nodded. “There is always at least one more.”

Sami sighed before beginning to laugh. She was Found, the Sisterhood was whole, and I joined my apprentice in laughing because somethings cannot be said. They must only be shared in the relief of laughter or the sharing of tears, but they bind us thicker than blood and always will.